Bring Bacon Back Seven Days A Week

Charlie Thornton
22 hours ago
3 min read

Flik only offers bacon on Thursdays, to the consternation of many.

Bacon. Merely mentioning the word may already make your mouth water. Yet the dining hall only offers it once a week on Thursdays. I wanted to figure out why that is, but the individuals I determined were involved in this bacon conspiracy did not respond to requests for comment.

Bacon should not be a luxury; it should be a right. The food is synonymous with breakfast itself, and is loved across the nation. I have it on good authority that the dining hall served bacon daily as recently as the 2023-2024 school year. Something in between then and now must have caused this beloved breakfast staple to disappear for six days out of the week. Bacon must return to the breakfast menu daily for the sake of student body morale.

Some may argue that bacon is unhealthy, but considering other features of the Middlesex breakfast rotation, health does not seem to be the top priority. Many students eat chocolate croissants or waffles bedaubed with whipped cream for breakfast. The dining hall is happy to supply these culinary vices.

While bacon is a processed meat and is high in saturated fat and cholesterol, it’s also rich in protein: according to Healthline, there are 37 grams of it in a standard serving. Bacon also contains vitamins, minerals, and other necessary nutrients. Compare this to the french toast, chocolate chip pancakes, and pastries offered by Flik, bacon looks pretty healthy.

Although Jewish and Muslim students avoid bacon because it is made from pork, many in the student body gratefully devour the stuff on the one day it is available. No one is being forced to eat bacon simply because it is available. Anecdotally, it seems on Thursdays nearly everyone eats bacon, suggesting that the return of daily bacon would be overwhelmingly well-received.

Turkey bacon is a great option for some, but much of the student body would much rather have real bacon. One cannot even put turkey bacon in an omelette!

Also, bacon tastes great, and turkey bacon does not compare to the flavor of real bacon. It’s salty, savory profile makes it perfect in an omelette, but also perfect on the side of some eggs or fruit.

Bacon’s legendary quality is manifest in its popularity among Americans, who are some of the most discerning food consumers out there. According to the Foundation for Economic Education, Americans on average eat 18 pounds of bacon a year. According to the same source, 65% of Americans would vote bacon for America’s national food. According to Smithfield Culinary, which happens to be one of the “largest pork and hog processors in the U.S.,” 71% of Americans say that “everything tastes better with bacon.” No one is suggesting that students at Middlesex eat 18 pounds of bacon—unless he or she wants to—but there’s no reason why our school needs to eschew something so obviously celebrated by Americans at large.

Initially, I intended to write a news article investigating bacon’s unexplained absence six days a week from the dining hall. To my chagrin, no one responded to repeated requests to comment. Is the decision not to serve bacon due to the fact that multiple cultures do not eat it? Is it because we cannot afford to serve bacon, and must resort to turkey bacon? Is it that bacon is allegedly unhealthy? Or is it that Middlesex and Flik are trying to obscure some more sinister truth? Any answer would be greatly appreciated.